There is an increasing awareness of Mens Mental Health, and further an increase in varying supports for them. This of course is beautiful and necessary. Furthermore, let’s delve into an important distinction between two types of groups for Men.
A support group, or general gathering of Men, can be a place where Men get to openly share. This can be formal, or an informal setting like after a footy game, on the job site or even at the pub.
The down side of this type of container is that it can quickly devolve into an Echo Chamber. Where the same unconscious thoughts and patterns are repeated or left unchallenged, let alone encouraged. “The blind leading the blind” if you will.
And so we enter into A Conscious Mens Group/ Circle. This is a space of intentionality and purpose. A space of fire, not to burn, but to bring to light a Man essence. A space of accountability, not to shame, but to ensure Men are moving forward in life with their eyes open.
Yes, of course, a man gets into share his full experience in a Mens Group. And within that sharing we learn to hold space, or bring a deep sense of curiosity to another mans experience, rather than jump in with “solutions” to deal within our own discomfort.
In our Mens group, we have 3 stages of witnessing a mans share (if he repeatedly brings the same issue to group)
1. I hear you, that sounds hard.
Also called a “free pass” on a share.
2. How can we support you through this difficult situation.
The “Offering of Support” for a man. He learns he doesn’t have to do it alone, if he chooses to do so and stops him from following in his own self-pity / thought patterns.
3. What the F&@K are you going to do about this?
Straight up Fire. This is where we call a Man UP. It is his life and now the need to take responsibility of it, and we are still HERE for him.
That’s one of the differences of a Mens Group.
You can trust the other Men in group to have your back, to not let you sit back in life. You can trust that you will move forward with purpose + Intention, and have your blindspots checked. That’s accountability. And that’s what holds you to your integrity, as a Man.